If You Want Trouble
by pixelatrix
Summary: "This war is steadily robbing me of everything that I hold dear." On Hiatus - M-Shep/Alenko pairing. Slight Spoilers for ME2 & ME3. Rated M for Language & Stuff.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**This is a new story that has been eating my brain lately. It's the first Alenko story that I've ever written not to mention that I've never written "male-Shep". It's AU-ish as I took liberties with some things. **

**Rating is mostly for language, I do like to cuss in my fics. **

**This is my penance for being mean to Alenko in almost all of my other fics lol. I usually use different betas for each of my fics so I don't overwhelm them with words. This story wasn't beta'd. All errors are unfortunately my own. If anyone is interested in beta'ing this fic for me going forward, please let me know.**

***The title is from one of my favorite songs by Nick Waterhouse**

**As always, read, review, enjoy. Still not sure if this is going to be more than just a one shot. Should I expand?**

"Would you have shot me?"

It was the question that had haunted Shepard since those tense moments on the Citadel. The seconds that seemed like hours before Alenko had finally trusted in him enough to lower his weapon. It bothered him because the answer to the question was yes. It would have broken his heart to shoot the man that he had loved in secret for the last few years. He would have done it anyway. The survival of all species depended on the Commander that weighed more heavily than the death of one man could, even if that one man was simply perfection.

"Stop that," Shepard pointed at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Crushing on a straight fellow officer isn't going to help anything."

Heaving a huge sigh, he stepped out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. The shower had washed away the grime but not the grief over Thane's death or the angst from dealing with Alenko afterwards. A chime at the door interrupted his thoughts. He answered only to find the object of his frustration standing on the other side.

"Bad time?" Alenko was trying to look anywhere but at Shepard's bare chest.

"Not at all," Shepard waved him inside.

His gaze drifted down the Major's back as Alenko stepped past him. He admired the lithe form barely concealed beneath fatigues. He started towards the bathroom to dress but changed his mind. It was more tempting to see how Alenko responded to a half-naked man. He leaned back against the nearby railing while Kaidan paced anxiously.

"Is something wrong?" Shepard asked.

"No," Alenko's eyes snapped up towards the Commander then immediately dropped. "Could you get dressed?"

"Am I bothering you?" Shepard placed a hand against his chest with an air of innocence.

"Yes. No," Alenko spoke in short bursts while trying to take deep breathes. "Please?"

Shepard decided it would be best to get dressed. He started forward only to collide directly into Kaidan who had spun abruptly to the right. The sudden change in momentum sent both men to the ground in a heap. Shepard found himself on his back with Alenko sprawled on top of him with nothing but a towel preserving his dignity. It was too comical for words. He smiled at first and then before he could stop himself, he was laughing so hard that his body shook which knocked Alenko to the floor.

"Fancy meeting you here," Shepard managed to reign in his amusement enough to glance over at the Major.

Alenko's brown eyes turned to meet his and the laughter caught in Shepard's throat. Before Shepard could stop himself, he reached out with his right hand to gently brush a little dust from Kaidan's cheek. The touch sent a jolt through his body and if the Major's wide eyes were any indication, he had felt the same sizzle of energy.

"I should go," Alenko shot to his feet and was gone before Shepard could pull himself up off the floor.

Shepard was halfway to the door after the fleeing Alenko when he realized wandering around the _Normandy_ naked was not his best idea ever. By the time he finished dressing, Alenko had retreated to the relative safety of the crowded kitchen.

"Hey, Loco!" Vega glanced up just before Shepard could duck out of sight. "Want some huevos rancheros?"

"No thanks, James." Shepard headed back towards the elevator.

"Commander?" Alenko's hesitant voice stopped Shepard with one foot inside the elevator. "I think we need to talk."

With a sigh, Shepard nodded then grabbed Alenko by the arm and dragged him into the quiet of the Life Support room. "About earlier…"

"Stop," Alenko held up a hand. "I just want you to listen, please."

Shepard's mouth snapped shut and he relaxed back into what had been Thane's favorite chair. He nodded for Alenko to go ahead. He felt anything but relaxed.

"I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have asked you if you would've taken that shot." Alenko paced the length of the small room. "I shouldn't, but I need to know."

"Kaidan," Shepard felt like a band was tightening around his chest. "'What ifs' can be very dangerous things."

"Please."

That single word hit Shepard in the gut and his resistance evaporated.

"Yes." Shepard's head dropped into his hands and his voice was barely audible. "If you hadn't stepped aside, I would've taken the shot. The coup could not succeed. Udina deserve to die for being a traitorous bastard."

Alenko fell into the other empty chair with a thud. "Yes?"

Shepard peeked through his fingers. "The trouble with asking difficult questions is that we usually don't really want the answers to them."

"Would you have regretted it?"

"Immensely," Shepard let his hands fall away from his face. "This war is steadily robbing me of everything that I hold dear."

"Not everything," Alenko reached out to squeeze the Commander's hand. "I would have taken the shot as well. At the end of the day, the loss of a solitary soldier is better than risking instability on the Citadel."

"About earlier?" Shepard tried to bring the conversation back around to the moment on the floor in his quarters.

"I believe we are almost ready to rendezvous with the quarians. That's what I came up to tell you." Alenko stood and headed for the exit, he paused in the doorway. "The next time that we are on the Citadel, I'd like to take you out for dinner."

"Dinner?"

"I thought it was a good choice for a first date."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**It's AU-ish as I took liberties with some things. Some spoilers.**

**Rating is mostly for language, I do like to cuss in my fics. **

**This story wasn't beta'd. All errors are unfortunately my own. I am still looking for a beta for this series, by the way.**

**I borrowed a little from Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 and Richard II.**

**As always, read, review, enjoy. **

"When I said date, I didn't really mean being squashed in the back of a geth fighter. And I certainly wasn't expecting Tali and Legion to play chaperone while you played with a turret." Alenko's voice barely carried over the gunfire.

Shepard rolled his eyes at the Major though he couldn't see it. Alenko and Tali were crammed together in the cargo area as Legion tried to outmaneuver the Reaper Destroyer. Shepard continued to fire at the approaching enemy with the turret. It was like pissing into the wind for all the good that it did as the damn Reaper just kept coming. A stray missile from the quarian fleets finally struck a weak spot temporarily sending it to the ground.

"We may escape before it recovers," Legion said.

"No, pull this thing over." Shepard shook his head. He released the turret and leapt down from the fighter. "If we run away, the geth and quarian fleets will be lost. If we lose those fleets, then we have lost Earth, Palaven and every other planet that we are fighting to save."

"What the hell is he doing?" Alenko and Tali exchanged concerned glances.

"Do you need assistance?" Legion's question followed Alenko's almost immediately.

"Get to safety," Shepard grabbed the targeting laser as the Reaper started to recover.

"Shepard?"

"I have to do this Kaidan," Shepard bit back the urge to add thoughts and feeling that he wasn't ready to share with everyone listening in over the comm. "Get the fuck out of here, Legion."

"Shepard-Commander, good luck."

"Damn it, Shepard."

Shepard ignored both comments, focusing solely on the giant monstrosity rising before him. "To quote an old friend, bring it on you, son of a bitch."

The next few hours were a test of Shepard's strength and patience. At the end of it all, another Reaper lay dead on the ground, the quarians were no longer trying to jump off the cliff of war and the Alliance had two fleets for the extra special price of one life, Legion who realized his individuality only to the sacrifice it for the sake of the geth.

By the time that he made it back to the _Normandy_, Shepard felt dead on his feet. He stepped into the elevator and found himself tapping the third floor button instead of the first floor button. He found Alenko reclining on one of the couches in the lounge with his nose buried in what looked like one of Ash's old books.

"Is that one of Ash's?" Shepard leaned over to get a better look.

"Her sister gave it to me at your memorial service. She said that Ash would've wanted me to have it." Alenko looked up from the book. "Traynor tells me that we're heading for the Citadel."

Shepard collapsed on the other couch in the room "The asari councilor has some information for us."

"Might have been useful earlier," Kaidan disappeared back behind the book.

"It's been my experience that most politicians aren't motivated to invest in a war effort until it hits home." Shepard leaned his head back against the couch.

"You look exhausted."

"How would you know? You aren't even looking," Shepard closed his eyes and yawned. "Facing a Reaper is damned exhausting."

"Could you try just a bit to not die while you are off being all _I'm Commander Shepard and I delete data like you on the way to real errors._" Alenko peered over the top of the book.

"That damn VI will be all anyone remembers when I'm gone," Shepard groaned.

"Garrus sent me one from a batch that C-sec confiscated before he decided to leave the Citadel." Alenko explained while setting his book aside.

"Remind me to _thank_ him for that later," Shepard reached over to pick up the book. "Shakespeare's sonnets?"

"It's become a favorite," Kaidan looked away embarrassed.

"Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken."

Shepard glanced up once he finished reading the sonnet, "He did know a bit about love."

"I wasted time, and now doth time waste me," Kaidan quoted in return.

Shepard tossed the book on the nearby table then reached over to touch his hand to Alenko's for a moment. "Time hasn't completely deserted you."

"No?" Alenko stared down at the hand covering his own only for Shepard to pull away.

"We'll be at the Citadel in a few hours. Meet me on the Presidium for lunch." Shepard was gone before Alenko could reply or before Shepard could chicken out.

"Are you ok, Loco?"

Shepard looked up to find Vega stepping into the elevator. "Uh, yes?"

"You sure? Because you've been in the elevator for the last fifteen minutes without going anywhere," Vega reached out to press the button for the armory.

"Vega?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up." Shepard shoved the Lieutenant out of the elevator once it arrived at the armory then punched the button for his quarters. He leaned his head against the wall and resisted the urge to scream.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

**It's AU-ish as I took liberties with some things. Some spoilers.**

**Rating is mostly for language, I do like to cuss in my fics. **

**This story wasn't beta'd. All errors are unfortunately my own. I am still looking for a beta for this series, by the way.**

**As always, read, review, enjoy. Bioware owns All, accept most of the words…and that one quote at the beginning.. =) **

"The course of love never did run smooth."

The quote from Shakespeare kept going through Alenko's mind. The date had not gone as planned. The date hadn't really even happened at all. Shepard had stopped off at a nearby lab to meet some Alliance doctor on a request from Hackett. The simple visit had ended with a dead doctor, indoctrinated assistant and one giant mystery that needed solving immediately with only one lead to follow. Shepard was so wrapped up in whatever this creature killing Reapers was that Kaidan had apparently slipped his mind.

Before they could start the hunt for Doctor Garneau however, Traynor had a lead on a group of Cerberus defectors that needed rescuing. Kaidan was dubious about trusting anyone that had the Cerberus insignia, but he trusted Shepard's intuition. He kept any concerns to himself and suited up to join Garrus on the shuttle with Shepard on the short fight down to Gellix.

Cerberus engaged them almost immediately. Once they had secured the situation outside, they helped Jacob Taylor inside. They started to head inside when one of the scientists approached. He seemed to know bout Shepard and Garrus. He introduced himself as Gavin Archer and pressed them for information about his brother. Alenko was surprised when Shepard lied about the Cerberus raid on Grissom Academy. He was about to comment when Archer wandered off with a pistol in hand.

"You let him shoot himself," Kaidan looked from Shepard over to Garrus.

There was a haunted look in the Commander's eyes that Alenko had seen only once before when they met up with Corporal Toombs from Shepard's old squad. With Scientists and their families to save, there wasn't time to delve further into what the fuck had just happened. Instead, they focused on clear the communication lines and getting the guns back online.

It was several hours later once back on the _Normandy_ that he found a moment to question Shepard. They were in alone in the crew quarters talking about where Cerberus and the Illusive Man had gone off the rails. The Commander seemed just as surprised at how far they would to go to ensure human domination above all species.

"Who was Archer?" Alenko finally asked the question that had been on his mind for most of the conversation. "Why didn't you stop him?"

"His reach exceeded his grasp," Shepard leaned back in the chair. "Doctor Gavin Archer has a younger brother, David. His brother is a mathematical savant, a gifted young autistic mind who is now helping the Crucible project."

"I don't understand."

"Cerberus was experimenting with the Geth. Archer was the lead on the project. He used his brother's mind to further his cause." Shepard stared down at his hands.

"And?"

"And in the name of experimentation, Gavin turned his young brother into a living VI plugged into the Geth network," Shepard's fists clenched around the edge of the table. "It sounds simple but it was pure torture. I saved David. Grissom Academy was his home up until a few weeks ago when I rescued him along with the other students and teachers."

"Then why?"

"Because he didn't deserve to know," Shepard slammed his fists on the table. "Why should I grant him peace in the knowledge that his brother was not only safe but excelling?"

Alenko looked down at the Commander's still clenched hands. "You could have stopped him from shooting himself. He might have been able to help the Crucible."

"And let him within a system of David? No."

"Shepard?" Alenko's words fell on deaf ears. Shepard stormed out of the room. He started to follow but stopped almost immediately at the door. "EDI?"

"There is footage that I believe you should see, Major Alenko." EDI placed a small disc in Alenko's hands. "Joker believes that you judge the Commander's actions too harshly. Perhaps this will help you understand, Doctor T'Soni may have additional information if needed."

It took him over an hour to go through all the information that EDI had compiled for him. The video from Shepard's confrontation with the VI was particularly disturbing. He felt like his soul needed cleansed. He could now understand the anger directed at Archer. In fact, it surprised him that the Commander hadn't killed him when Gavin had pulled a gun on him. He set the data aside and headed up to elevator. He paused outside Shepard's quarters trying to decide what to say. The door opened before he could knock.

"Kaidan?"

"I was wrong, about Archer." Kaidan walked over to the fish tank. He watched them swim for a bit before turning back to face Shepard. "I saw the footage from Aite. All loss of life should be mourned on some level, but I understand why you didn't intervene."

"I couldn't allow him anywhere near David." Shepard leaned back against the aquarium beside Alenko.  
"The temptation to test his theories again might have proven too strong to resist."

Kaidan nudged Shepard with his elbow. "Are there ever any easy decisions to make? Ever?"

"Not in my experience, the decisions just keep getting more difficult," Shepard chuckled. "I haven't forgotten about our date either. It'll have to wait until we pick up Garneau unfortunately."

Alenko nodded and started for the door. He was a step away from the stairs when Shepard's hand reached out to pull him back into his arms. Kaidan found himself eye to eye with the Commander whose arms where now tightly wrapped around him.

"I can't seem to help myself," Shepard grinned before leaning down for a kiss.

The kiss deepened as Shepard walked them slowly back towards the couch. They were falling back on it when Joker's rather amused voice interrupted informing them that they had reached the Caleston Rift and were ready to search for Garneau. Alenko rested his head against Shepard's chest for a moment then got to his feet. He pulled Shepard up with him.

"I'm going to kill him one day," Shepard sighed then headed for the elevator.

"Careful, I think EDI could take you," Kaidan grinned. "He's gotten more annoying with age."

"I can still hear you, Major."

"We know," Shepard reached over to run a hand along the contours of Alenko's back. "Just remember, I know where you store your good porn, I can make EDI delete it."

"Bastard."


End file.
